I want to take us to the radical point of view. Fellow word-lovers will know that I am talking about the roots of this terrible situation. Sexual assault is violence. Rape is not sex, it is violence. Young people go off to college where they can feel free to binge drink and "party" to their hearts' content. Alcohol doesn't cause violence, it unleashes inhibitions that prevent an otherwise sterling person from committing unthinkable acts against another. Someone who is the victim of sexual assault is very unlikely to report the assault. Those who have perused my previous posts will understand what I'm getting at.
We are taught to be ashamed of our desires and our deeds when it comes to sex. We are also taught, at least superficially, that acts of violence against one another are bad, are ugly, and are crimes. Yet from a very young age, we are relentlessly exposed to humans acting aggressively, violently, obscenely against one another. These radically oppositional messages are internalized by all of us at a young age. Internalized, even though the "violence is bad AND violence is good" message is psychologically indigestible.
Once again, I want to take us from theory to our day-to-day lives. Having mastered a second language in my early twenties, my fascination with words and syntax only increased. I began to listen to expressions (both in English and in Dutch) in a more acute fashion. While all languages are larded with swear words and putdowns that refer to sexual acts, American English has been a prime example of this practice and it's pervading our day-to-day speech.
A picnic excursion on a sunny day that turns rainy (dream on, California boy) is a day that sucks. A guy who is in an emotional tangle and acts bizarrely is all fucked up. The louse who cuts you off on the freeway deserves a "screw you!" and a gesture connoting a penis as insult weapon. Dear reader, just think for a few moments and you will easily come up with another dozen examples. Most of these sexually-based, aggressively-intended words are heard on the street, in the media, and in our living rooms without anyone batting an eyelash. This offends me. It makes me sad. And I believe that you, dear reader, would benefit by really listening to the meta-message we are perpetuating by repeatedly, even subliminally, using and accepting anatomical and sexual terms to express anger and aggression.
The next time you hear that your friend thinks "that movie sucks," might you be inclined to reply, "Wow, I've heard of 3D, but a movie that sucks?!!? Where is it playing?"??