In June I had follow-up CT-scans. And today I saw my oncologist who confirmed what the Scan report had revealed, namely, that the pancreatic cancer has metastasized to my lungs. Up until now, we were aiming at a cure. Going forward, our goal is to slow down the progression. There can be no cure. It will take me awhile to truly comprehend what it means to have a terminal illness.
This Monday, July 15, I begin a new, custom-made formulation of some powerful chemo drugs. We'll monitor how I deal with them, in a "2 day on--12 day off" fortnightly rotation, so I'll have two rounds before Alva and I go to Weedfield Aug 1-10.
I'm writing to you not to make you worried or sorry, but because I love you. I am getting the best possible care. And I aim to make the most of whatever time is left to me, be it 3 months or 3 years. All our varied feelings in hearing such news are blessings, flowing because we are blessed with an abiding, loving connection. I celebrate the love overflowing in my life. When we can, we shall see one another. We can talk and write and remember the joys of our association, our loving friendship.
Now more than ever, let us rededicate ourselves to living for life, for our earth, our families, friends and neighbors, and especially, for the children. In this, we reconnect with that which is timeless and eternal in our world. Cherish those you love. Sing and make music. Dance more. Worry less. We are all so fortunate and have so much to give to this hurting world. Let us carry on, Loving intensely, Letting go utterly.
I carry you in my heart. Feel free to share my news with others who
you think would want to know.
with a heart full of love,
Bear