A reason that I tend to use the terms Yin and Yang is that the words represent judgment-free concepts. The operative word here is change. Sometimes a rainbow feels like the right metaphor.
My line of thought today arose as I was thinking about the function of and dysfunction by viewing pornography.
The Yang includes the exhalation, the shining, the extraversion, and the "male principle." Men tend to like porn much better than do women. Acquiring and analyzing data seems to be Yang as well. (As I write, I glance up at the brightly lit board that lets waiting families know where in the process of surgery our loved ones are. I'm feeling that I'm about to tread on the thin ice of making further generalities.)
In order to become aroused, the Yin in us wants touch, closeness, wetness, intimacy. But the Yang in us (and, as I said, mostly in men) can become totally turned on by still and moving pictures of total strangers. We understand the biological logic of the male becoming turned on from something he hears, sees, smells or touches, while the female becomes turned on for the particular circumstance and specific male or female that sets off a response from within.
The fact that humans have a huge range of sexual response and that most sexual activity through each lifetime is recreational rather than procreational certainly complicates this topic, turning my Yang/Yin into that trusty rainbow just like that!
Yin me longs to make love. Yang me longs to get off. Yin me gets confused when the other goes for porn over me. What's up with that? Yang me wants to stay in control and choose the specific stimuli that are tried and true. Yin me longs to let go, feel oneness, and melt.
When we're talking about gay male sex, we're not really able to just imagine a kind of Double-Yang encounter. There's butch vs femme, top vs bottom, active vs passive, etc. etc. in all human interaction, whether or not we would ever use such terms. I've been blessed with such an extensive sexual history that I feel ready to make a few generalities, at least about how my sex clock ticks.
If real lovemaking is my violet and indigo, sex for the sake of an efficient orgasm is way off at the other end of oranges and reds. Sensual, sensitive, responsive, interactive sex is oh so different from the more straightforward action/reaction of just getting off, alone or together.
Both same sex and opposite sex couples can experience tension when communication about needs and desires breaks down. Even with good intentions on both sides, sometimes a couple can use an "interpreter" to facilitate better clarity. Sadly, in our American "Push Me - Pull You" culture, sexualizing all aspects of life while at the same time retaining essentially Puritan attitudes that induce shame, couples often experience a radical disconnect and even notions of being "forever incompatible" simply because they don't see any options for airing such intimate problems, either with one another or with a therapist.
It's 9:25. The surgeon just came out with all kinds of good news. Alva will stay in the hospital until Friday. And, dear Reader, I want to thank you for bearing with me as I bamboobeared with you.